Writing a Eulogy: How to Write a Eulogy for a Funeral or Memorial Service

April 17, 2012 | 2 Comments
Advice for Writing a Eulogy

A eulogy is your opportunity to honor a deceased loved one. But it can be difficult to find the words to describe their life and legacy.

Writing a eulogy for a funeral or memorial service is not easy – how do you sum up the life of a loved one in a eulogy? Read our tips on writing a eulogy below.

Eulogies are often a significant focus of funeral services. It’s no wonder they are so hard to write – not only are we grieving the loss of a loved one, but we may also feel a strong sense of responsibility and anxiety to make it “perfect.” But eulogies don’t need to be perfect. The point is not to entertain but to honor and commemorate the passing of a loved one.

Here are a few tips to keep in mind when writing a eulogy for a loved one’s funeral or memorial service:

Start by talking
If you’re having trouble getting started, try talking out loud with a family member or friend about your loved one. Pay attention to how you start, the flow of your thoughts, and the stories you tell. When talking out loud, you’ll focus on your loved one rather than the task of writing a eulogy, your mind will get going, and you’ll find yourself a natural storyteller.  Let that guide the written version of the eulogy.

Paint a picture
Rather than tell the audience about the deceased, paint a picture by telling stories. For instance, rather than say he or she had a good sense of humor or was very generous, give specific examples so that the audience can “see” those qualities for themselves. Remember, no detail is too small.

Get to the essence
Try to explain to the audience not only what differentiated the deceased from others, but who they were at their core. When thinking about the person, consider what his or her mantra might have been, what values he or she held dear, or what he or she treasured most.

Don’t shy away from praise, humor, sorrow or other emotions
Speak from your heart to honor the life of your loved one, and don’t be afraid to laugh or cry as you share stories with your audience. You can’t, and you shouldn’t, try to keep from getting emotional as you deliver the eulogy – emotions are entirely appropriate for the occasion.

Here is the eulogy I wrote for my grandmother – I then used it to create and share an online memorial.

Have you delivered a eulogy? Share some of your tips below.


Leah Yomtovian Roush is the Senior Manager of Strategic Development for Cleveland, Ohio-based eFuneral, a comprehensive and free online resource that enables those thinking about end-of-life to research, plan, and arrange a wide variety of funeral-related services. Leah is the editor of eFuneral's Online Resource Center, and she manages the company's marketing efforts and develops strategies for company growth. Leah also serves on the Boards of multiple non-profit organizations, helping them expand their reaches and increase their impacts.

   

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  • DWmW

    When I eulogized my father, I learned the following concept: think about the audience as an expanding set of concentric circles. First there is the life partner of the deceased, if still living. Then there’s the immediate family. Then there’s the wider circle of relatives and friends. Speak to each one of these groups during the eulogy. This will be comforting and meaningful to all.