Grief and Grieving: How to Grieve

Remember, there is no right or wrong way to grieve.

When grieving the loss of a loved one, you may wonder how to grieve.

Often, grievers wonder how they should grieve. But the first thing a griever should know is that each experience is different – grief is very personal. While there’s no right or wrong way, there are things that can help you through the process. Here is a short list of things to know and consider doing when grieving the loss of a loved one:

• Know that there are no definitive stages of grief, and trying to use the stages model as you grieve could keep you from coping with your own unique emotions.
• Know that grief can last a long time and can even begin before death – but you will recover.
• Tell stories and share memories again and again and again.
• Write down your thoughts and feelings and keep a journal about your journey through grief.
• Write a letter to your loved one or to God.
• Read books and articles about grief.
• Look on the Internet for grief resources, like the helpguide.org
• Feel things through; do not avoid or circumvent feelings.
• Talk about what you are going through with someone you trust.
• Find a comfortable balance between social events and solitude.
• Find people who will say your loved one’s name and talk about him/her with you.
• Keep a routine.
• Set a few simple, realistic goals for yourself and meet them.

Remember, grieving is like a roller coaster ride – you’ll experience ups and downs, highs and lows. Still you can expect grief to be rougher in the beginning, with deeper and longer lows. As time passes, your pain should become less intense and shorter. But remember, it takes times to work through the loss of a loved one, so be patient with yourself.

Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Can you share some of your experiences in the comments section below?

This article is part of the eFuneral Resource Center and was written by Gail Walls, who currently serves as a funeral officiant and is finalizing her Master of Divinity degree with a concentration in Chaplaincy focused on End of Life. She spent the last 25 years as a business and marketing executive. Those thinking about end-of-life should visit eFuneral.com for help researching, planning, and arranging a wide variety of funeral-related services.